roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
