I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
