I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
