Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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