He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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