She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
soo... how was my night?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
