she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
