They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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