I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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