508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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