literally had 100 drinks last night.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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