hotel room ftw
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
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And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already