i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.