My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just pee around me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.