I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
