We named our party play list daddy issues
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
