gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
