It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
