i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Quick, to the slutcave!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
