He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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