so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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