If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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