Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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