Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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