i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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