I want to have your abortion
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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