Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize