did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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