your thong is hanging out like whoa
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
