Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
