bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
