You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wish I could teleport
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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