People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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