I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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