i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize