So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
