I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
