And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
