My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
