someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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