I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
