I cockslap morals
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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