I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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