I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
