i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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