FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
