I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
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I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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