My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
