why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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