The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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