fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
