Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
