Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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