Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just had sex bonerless
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
