Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
