I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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