If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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