Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wish I only lived at night.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
