Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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